"This Branch guy was such an asshole. I was trying to make a move on my girl, but he was so goddamn handsome and charismatic with his "music" that she couldn't keep her eyes off him. At one point, I swear I saw her slip him her phone number. No way in hell I'm hiring him for our wedding reception."  - Brandon A.

"Worst music performance ever. I went to the club with three of my girlfriends, and two of them left with Branch!" - Jason B.

"I couldn't listen to the awesome music over the noise of the two couples in front of me, who wouldn't shut up about how amazing Branch was." - Clara B.

"I tried booking Branch at my micro pub, but some bigwig producer was trying to woo him to his label." - Mgr at Reckless Brewing Co.

"Worst musician ever. I couldn't get my girl to pay any attention to me. The bartender kept wasting her time giving him free drinks." - Brent C.

"I hired this jerk to open at my club, but the fans boo'd the headliner off the stage and kept chanting "Branch! Branch! Branch!" - Jack V. Owner Tumbleweed Saloon